10 Lessons We Gleaned from the Stars

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    From the red carpet to the courtroom, the often dubious parenting skills of the world’s top celebs made headlines in 2008. Sometimes we groaned, other times we were inspired, but there was always something to learn from those champions of childrearing. Tralee Pearce reports

    1. YOU CAN BE TOO RICH, TOO THIN AND HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN
    The global fascination with the Angelina Jolie-Brad Pitt brood may be waning as their drive to acquire/produce more kids begins to appear pathological. The ink was barely dry on the W magazine cover Mr. Pitt shot of Ms. Jolie breastfeeding one of the new twins when rumours of a new biological or adopted baby started swirling.

    2. DO NOT DISPOSE OF THAT PAPIER-MÂCHÉ VOLCANO
    As proof of Christie Brinkley’s parental devotion, her lawyers wheeled out a dinosaur diorama Ms. Brinkley helped her son make as Exhibit A in her divorce case against Peter Cook. All those raptors must have been convincing: The former model received sole custody of the couple’s two children and their many properties in the Hamptons. Then again, there was the matter of Mr. Cook’s creepy philandering.

    3. YOUR EGO CAN MAKE A PARENTING PROBLEM WORSE
    We had almost forgotten Alec Baldwin’s nasty voice mail rant recorded on his daughter Ireland’s cellphone. Yes, it may have been a shoddy move on the part of mom Kim Basinger to allegedly release said recording to the media. But writing a book about parental alienation by way of defence? Bad idea, Big Al.

    4. KEEP IT TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS, EVEN AFTER DIVORCE. SORT OF
    While reports circulated that Madonna and Guy Ritchie were planning to share Christmas with kids Rocco, Lourdes and David, many newly divorced couples may have been inspired to faux reconcile for a few days under the same roof. They needn’t have. According to the Daily Mail, Mr. Ritchie celebrated Christmas with the boys at his Wiltshire estate. Lourdes spent the day with her mother at the family’s London home. But on Boxing Day, Mr. Ritchie took the boys back to their mother and stayed until the following day. Bet it was an emotional breeze.

    5. THERE’S NO NEED TO VETO EVEN THE WEIRDEST BABY NAME
    Famous couples kept at it, one-upping Apple, Suri and Pilot Inspektor this year. Tops? Pop stars Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale with Zuma Nesta. And singers Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz with Bronx Mowgli. See, honey? Tiberius Numchuk Malone isn’t that out there.

    6. BABIES CAN BE USED AS ACCESSORIES, AND NOT JUST BY HOLLYWOOD STARS
    Politicians do it too. We cringed and sat on the edge of our seats during every Sarah Palin appearance, not out of fear that she might actually appear to be winning her bid for the U.S. vice-presidency, but because poor baby Trig was writhing around in little Piper’s arms in the audience. Here’s hoping he’s safe in his crib a little more often now.

    7. OVERPROGRAMMING IS OFFICIALLY RAMPANT
    At a recent Lakers basketball game, the Beckham boys, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, busted out topnotch breakdancing moves, clearly the product of some cool-seeking extracurricular scheduling. Beats piano or after-school sports any day, but, really?

    8. WHEN IT COMES TO SUCCESS, BIRTH ORDER DOESN’T MEAN A THING
    Take a look at the three brothers of the Emanuel clan. There’s Barack Obama’s bulldog chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, the middle kid. Brother Ari, the youngest, is a hotshot Hollywood agent and the inspiration for the character Ari Gold in the TV series Entourage. And Ezekiel Emanuel, the eldest, is a bioethicist with the U.S. National Institutes of Health. He released a high-profile study this month about the childhood health problems associated with too much TV, Web exposure and video-gaming.

    9. HAVING A CUTE KID DOESN’T ALWAYS ENHANCE YOUR REPUTATION
    Case in point: Tom Cruise. No matter how many times little Suri is paraded in her pretty dresses in front of adoring photographers, we can’t shake our unease. Why isn’t she ever wearing a coat? Why is she still using a bottle? Why doesn’t she have any friends?

    10. DADS CAN STILL BE VERY COOL
    Case in point: Barack Obama. The president-elect talked tough on the legacy of absent black fathers in the United States and made the strengthening of families a campaign issue. He also happens to make dropping the kids off at school look sexy.

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